Listening to Anxiety
Each of us travels through our entrepreneurial journey wresting with our share of anxiety. Navigating your unique differentiators in overly crowded markets, betting on your own voice and talents, and investing in your dreams against the odds all involves risk. And risk has a way of stirring up increased anxiety and worry, especially if you are “going it alone” as many entrepreneurs are apt to do.
In my travels I’ve actually heard a few entrepreneurs boldly exclaim, “I eat risk for breakfast!” And I suppose there are some of us born with similar nerves of steel. Most of us, however, have perfected a persona of steel to mask the underlying tension, uncertainty, and worry that often fuels our anxieties. We find a way to squish it down, buck up, and get the job done. We close the big client, and the bigger loan. We juggle tightening cash flows. We grow faster than our team’s ability to execute. We plug the dam with as many fingers and toes as our body allows.
All the while pressing past the heart-racing, skin crawling, belly tightening grip of anxiety.
As a business leader it’s your job to set a tone of calm and confidence in the organization even when you’re not feeling it yourself. Through the years you’ve most likely developed ways of managing through these cycles of worry. At least for a moment and, of course, somedays better than others. You may go for a walk outside or meditate on the couch. You may find support in talking through your worries with a friend or in establishing more structures and measurement systems for you and your business.
Coaching clients often share successes with how they’ve been able to reestablish grounding after an anxious swirl so they can get through that afternoon customer meeting, their team strategy session, or an evening little league game with their kids.
Yet often, underneath these tactics, our anxiety lingers and festers. It shows up in the wide-open-eyes of your 3AM insomnia attack, or relentless e-mail and metric checking that sucks up your time, or in your third glass of wine for the third night in a row.
Pema Chodron tells us, “Nothing ever goes away until It has taught us what we need to know.”
Your body is trying to tell you something. Listening to what your anxiety is trying to teach you about your current situation invites calmer presence, clearer insight, and truer action.
Usually underlying all the pent-up worries and anxieties is fear. Sometimes our fears are misaligned, triggered from past events and fueled by shame that isn’t applicable to the current situation. And sometimes our fears are very legitimate to the moment, telling us what we need to pay attention to and pointing to holes in our plan or resources that need addressed.
Creating space to discern the difference can help us leverage and learn from our anxiety and, subsequently, put our underlying fears to rest.
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Leadership Development Practices to help you engage with these concepts in your own leadership development journey:
Welcoming In: This week pay attention to when you feel the heart-racing, skin crawling, belly tightening grip of anxiety begin to rise. Carve out some quiet space in your day away from any demands for your time or attention. Take a few deep breaths, getting settled in the safety of your space, and from this calmer, wider stance invite your anxiety in, as if inviting a friend for a cup of coffee. What deeper fear is your anxiety feeding off and what is this trying to tell you about what needs action and attention in your world?
